Now, don’t get me wrong. I have no problem with anyone donating to charities, and I have no problem donating myself (I currently have three different charities taking money out of my account monthly), but I absolutely have a problem with these cards.
My feelings are that if you don’t want to give me a Christmas present, but want to donate to charity instead, that is absolutely fine. No worries. I have no problem with that at all.
What I have a problem with is you donating to charity and then telling me it was in my name.
And this is where I come up against a mental block. I don’t quite understand why I find this part of it quite so offensive. Perhaps it is a matter of free will, either in the matter of donating at all, or choosing who I want to donate to, I’m not sure.
I know I’m not the only person who feels like this, and yet I can’t quite grab hold of the reason why. And that bothers me almost as much as receiving one of these cards.
All that said, I also applaud the charities for coming up with another innovative way of getting more money out of greedy rich people to help their causes. This fact that I agree with the reasoning behind the cards also bothers me. How can I agree with the idea, and find it so offensive at the same time?
But either way:
If I want to donate, I will.
If you want to donate, feel free, go for it. Just don’t do it in my name.
So here are some questions for you. Do you feel the same way, and can you explain it? Or do you disagree, and why?
I have a problem with it on the basis that most people actually don't know where either my loyalties nor my values lie when it comes to charities. Sure, they're all worthwhile - to someone, and that's the key point. To someone. I know what's important to me.
ReplyDeleteI'm also a believer that I'm the only person who can donate *in my name* unless I have some input. As an example I had a friend ask me what charity, if he were to donate to one for me, I'd prefer. So I told him, and I was cool with that. I'd had the input.
I suppose it's the presumptious notion that someone knows I *would* donate or, worse, the arrogant belief that they know what I *should* donate to.
You know, I think that could be exactly my problem. I think if I was asked which charity I preferred, that would probably take away most of my objection.
ReplyDeleteThe problem I have is that it feels to me like trying to kill two birds with one stone. I feel like I should give you a gift, and I feel like I should donate to charity. But if I buy you a $50 gift and give $50 to charity, I'm out $100. Why not give $50 to charity and call it a gift to you? It costs me half as much for an equal amount of conscience-cleansing!
ReplyDeleteYep, that's also part of my problem with it - but from the receiver's point of view. I would much rather you just gave to charity and said to me 'no, sorry, can't afford a present this year, I gave to charity instead'.
ReplyDeleteWould it not weigh on your conscience (and therefore negate the cleansing aspect)that I was offended by you giving in my name without my authority?
Just wondering.... did you already get your Christmas present from our common antecedent?
ReplyDeleteIt might make you smile that I sent a goat (card) to Silverleaves this year...
As for the giving and receiving of goats in general I do rather feel like it's the gift you give when you don't give a gift... and it interests me that it's often the people who baulk at the idea of giving a gift certificate/ cash who will invest in goats...
Ohhh still thinking about this and I feel that as it really is spending money on other people's behalf it is only acceptable because it's a charity and we therefore feel shamed into compliance with the programme. Imagine if we expanded the goat giving to include other services 'I didn't buy you a present as I had a spa weekend instead.' 'I was going to buy you a novelty tie but I found myself some great shoes instead'.
ReplyDeleteThen again I am the Christmas grinch this year about the entire gift giving and receiving thing. A giftless festival full of everyone's presence and not their presents sounds wonderful to me at the moment!
Haha, no I have received anything yet, but I'm not at all surprised by your gift. I had that person in mind (and a couple of other relatives too) when I wrote this.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with your second comment - it's not 'I'm giving you something I think you would like', it's more along the lines of 'I'm using you as an excuse to do something I want to do'.
Though I do like 'I had a spa weekend for you so that I would smell good and also be more aesthetically pleasing when you saw me at Christmas!' :P